spacer spacer spacer spacer
ask doctor aster
Advice from Dr. Aster should not be considered a substitute for therapy! Click here for help in finding a psychologist near you or here for mental health crisis hotlines.

Wedding Bell Blues

Dear Dr. Aster,

My youngest son is getting married next spring. As mother of photo of roberta isleib the groom, let me assure you I know not to interfere! Which is precisely why my husband and I offered our prospective in-laws a generous sum toward the cost of the wedding to use as they please. But the bride's mother is beginning to drive me mad. She wants to control everything: the number of friends we're allowed to invite, who gives a toast and for how many minutes, whether grandchildren may attend. Yesterday, she delivered that last straw: I'm to wear a pastel gown, absolutely no black. Keep in mind that this is a formal affair and that I'm a middle-aged woman with a substantial rear end. And my skin looks hideous in pastel. I've had it down to my pink keister! Can you help?

Ready to Kill in Kansas

double lines


Dear Ready:

Watching your children get married brings out all kinds of intense feelings. Your last baby is grown and soon gone. How can you be sure his bride will take care of him the way you have? How can you trust her family won't become more important to him than yours? No wonder weddings have a reputation for bringing out the very worst!

Congratulations on this important milestone and on your generosity. Before you make a fuss about the dress, step away while breathing deeply and remember the skills you honed when you had argumentative teenagers in the house. If ever there was a time to pick your battles, this is it. Good luck and try to enjoy the moment!

P.S. Would navy blue solve the problem? Just kidding.